Hectic as it should be.

What a December.

I can't wait for a nice massage in Bangkok.

Well, 2 wedding photoshoot.

The day before the wedding I would be tensed. Worried. heh. Rolling on my bed thinking. I was afraid that my photos would be boring. Same shot again and again. I know I am not that great with photography yet.

It feels good when the photos turns out great. But when I see some of the photos... argh. I should have done better. I should have focus more, think more, SEE more, sink my heart into the whole session, crack my head even more. OMG. Every single moment will only give you 1/2 sec to think. If you miss it, it's gone. No more.

TeenStreet was great. I guess, we were praising God crazily. I learnt not to be that concious on stage. With the music pumping, the awesome energy level. Deep down inside, I just want to please God and hope that the teens are ministered. That's all. It's been great serving with the 'circle of trust'. Well, of course there are somemore things that I saw - the love of God.

Paddy is teething so badly. So much destruction made to the house. I'd been praying so she will be good and listen.

Christmas was nice. It was busy and all, but it's a warm christmas. Great to be with a different family and being with them.

Owh, had a christmas presentation in Subang Parade. It's nice to see the community being blessed with the message of the Saviour born.

Ha. Merry Christmas people.

And Happy New Year too.

Got fed up on breathing today.

So I stopped breathing for a while and realised that I can't not breath.

I MUST breath. Air Exists!

What a day.

A :"Do you think I am annoying?"
B :"No."
A :"Yes you do."
B :"-_-"
A :"Okay, sometimes?"
B :"No."
A :"How about erm.. the time when I step on your foot? In the mall? You remember?"
B : *thinking* "Owh... That one? No. I wasn't annoyed"
A : ;|
B :"Owh... You scared of me uh?"
A :"No, I am not. But you did look annoyed tho"
B :"Sensitive lar you."

A lot of people that I met were pretty sensitive. They got me into a lot of trouble. Yes they did. Hard not to be sensitive sometimes.

But I can be insensitive to many things too. Don't even bothered to be sensitive. Certain things or people... just help you to be insensitive naturally. Don't know why.

Generation Y has a nearly intimate connection to technology. In their 2007 book, Connecting to the Net.Generation: What Higher Education Professionals Need to Know About Today's Students, Reynol Junco and Jeanna Mastrodicasa^[15] found that in a survey of 7,705 college students in the US:

• 97% own a computer
• 97% have downloaded music and other media using peer-to-peer file sharing
• 94% own a cell phone
• 76% use instant messaging and social networking sites
• 75% of college students have a Facebook profile and most of them check it daily.^[16]
• 60% own some type of portable music and/or video device such as an iPod
• 49% regularly download music and other media using peer-to-peer file sharing
• 34% use websites as their primary source of news
• 28% author a blog and 44% read blogs
• 15% of IM users are logged on 24 hours a day/7 days a week
• 14% use online purchasing to buy tobacco related products
• 8% have confessed to having an online gaming addiction at some point in their life

Which generation are you?

A funny conversation...




Hehe...

It's getting quiet again.

Or maybe she is getting quiet again.

A time to slow down, a time to think and discover.

Discover things that's passed her by.

Peeling off the layers of lie that hide beneath her skin.

Revealing the many monsters in her closet.

Looking through the many angles of people's faces.

It's not an easy path.

It will never be.

But I guess she will be better.

I am given choices to everything that I do.

At the end, I think I wasn't being given a choice at all.

Why is it life is unfair and yet You are fair.

Maybe because of what I faced, I think I need You but yet I don't want You.

Why those disbelieving thoughts?

Did I believe because I was made to believe or I made myself believe.

Now the question is...

Will I walk away?

Discovering me.

Finding every small bits that hurt me.

Finding what makes me, me.

Finding why I respond to things the way I do.

Finding what I believe ... are all true.

Finding You.

I wonder whether did I hold on to the right one.

I feel like I'd been conned into this business.

Are all these... true?

I banged a cone with my car.

I called my mobile phone with the office phone.

I ate at Uncle Misai while it was heavily pouring. Yes, sat under the big umbrella and had Uncle Misai's helper to walk me to my car.

I had ex-colleague that thought I work in the fashion industry. Padahal I am the most not fashionable person.

Yes. My Tambi (younger brother). Happy Birthday!! You are little bit older now. Can't see you like a baby anymore. I think family member that I spent the most of my time with is you. Remember how we used to fight like 2 crazy dogs in the house? We even bring down a room door because of that. Silly. Remember times when we squatted at the balcony? Even by just sitting down together, not talking... it was nice. Many days that mom and dad weren't around, we have each other to lean on. Remember how we used to have fun making lunch and eat them till 3 -4 pm ? I guess many of our personality and characteristic were formed from the influence of each other - good or bad.

Sorry for times that I scolded you. Sorry for times that I think you are stupid. I guess you just wanna show that you can make decision and you can be independent. I am sorry that I said harsh things to you. I am sorry that I said:" I wish you didn't even existed." I am sorry.

You are a loving person, patient, and wacky! I hope you will grow even more and be strong. I will love you no matter what happen.

You are worthy in God's eyes. He will not abandon you. He love you and He wants to give you the best of life. He will be your fortress and refuge in your darkest moment in life. He will always provide you. He will protect you. He will not leave you alone in any circumstance in life. He will stand before you when you go for a "war". You are His son. His beloved son. He has a perfect life plan customised specially for you. Live wholly and fully for His glory.
Lastly, I wanna say that I am very proud of you. I am glad He didn't terminate your life account 18 years ago. I guess you are special. =)

Happy birthday Tambi!

I wish I could do things with you. Many things. I wish we could have time for dinner.
I wish we can go to see the sea and the feel the wind again. I wish that you know what is happening. I wish that I can talk to you like there's no tomorrow. I wish that I can see your smile. I wish that you will tell me your life. I wish to know your side of family. I wish to know who were your parents. I wish to cry to you when I need you.
I wish that I can hug you one day. I wish to take you to somewhere where you don't have to think about work. I wish you did not go far away when I was younger.
I wish to hold your hand like how I did when I was much younger. I wish I can be more dependent on you. Dad, I wish I will be able to tell you that I love you. One day.

Geez... I just had a cup of tea and realised I have not updated this since people stopped clapping and Tinkerbell died... You would not believe how tidy my house now is. My bad..

I am flat out like a lizard drinking with feeding the little people, watching the grass grow, just generally being a mother to my dogs, my day starts from crawling out of bed at 6.30 to whenever. I am not complaining though. but who cares.

I probably think of me as I battle mine enemies. Until I need your shoulder to cry on. Don't hold your breath though, you're likely to turn blue..

Ah Deep Pin: I will hit you
On Neh: One
Ren Deh: Two
Moon Neh: Three
OngGeh Lack-eh: For you
None Dhree: Thank you
Ah Kah: Big sister

Woohoo! my DIY phrasebook!

Saturday. Went to a superb authentic daun pisang Indian place in Brickfields. That was cool. Drank something called "MO" If I remember it correctly. Too bad my camera was out of battery. But still... It's a Woohoo! Whee!

Life and love and why
Child, adult, then die
All of your hoping
And all of your searching
For what?
Ask me for what am I living
Or what gives me strength
That I'm willing to die for

Take away from me
This monstrosity
'Cause my futile thinking's
Not gonna solve nothing tonight
Ask me for what am I living
Or what gives me strength
That I'm willing to die for

Could it be this
Could it be bliss
Could it be all that
I ever had missed
Could it be true
Can life be new
And can I be used
Can I be used

Give me a reason
For life and for death
A reason for drowning
While I hold my breath
Something to laugh at
A reason to cry
With everyone hopeless
And hoping for something
To hope for
Yeah, with something to hope for

Could it be true
Can life be new
Could it be all that I am
Is in You
Could it be this
Could it be bliss
Can it be You
Can it be You


-Switchfoot-

The cry of a Father's heart from Genesis to Revelation...

Shallow mellow.

Day and night.

In and out.

Staying and leaving.

Caedmon's Call and Switchfoot.

Coffee after coffee.

September is coming.

No! No!

Good girl.

awww.

Hair cut shop.

Office and home.

Home and not home.

Up the stairs but can't go down. Yet.

Pretty card on the table.

Balloon twisting.

Smileys behind the desk.

Brandy Alexander vs. the wall breaking.

Wall is breaking down. down down...

Little Paddy Chotti.

Little notebook and a pen in black.

Rough and tough.

Smiles and bruises.

Biscuits and treats.

Bag and box.

Red and blue.

Walk and stop.

Up and down.

你给我多少时间? 我不需要你给我时间. 我是我. 我如何过我的生活影响你了吗? 让你困扰了吗?

我不能理解. 真的不能理解. 还是你不能理解?

I remembered standing so strong.
so so strong.

A person came and broke me down, tore me into pieces.
It made me feel so so small.

How could a person can actually did that?
A sweet and adorable person in front of everybody but can be someone else in front of you.

A whole lot of darkness eating up all your light.

Have you ever met someone like that?

For a few hours,
I felt defeated.

Fear holds me down,
Consumed all that I have in my courage tank.
It made me feel so small.

Never felt so vulnerable before.
For that few hours.

I don't think it is that serious... or rather I don't want to think that it is. I hope it is not.

If it is something that You think is necessary to happen in my life. Let it be. I hope it is not.

Miracle happens!

I had almost half of my Cambodia photos corrupted. I tried virus scan, checking it on another pc, copy to another harddrive, photo retrieval...etc but to no avail. Just as I gave up, most of them came back! At least those that I remembered are good photos came back! YAY!!!

Now I really felt the importance of photos to a photographer. heh. Serious heartache.

Here's a song to share with you.


OUR GOD IS A GREAT BIG GOD

Our God is a great big God,
Our God is a great big God,
Our God is a great big God,
And he holds us in his hands.

He's higher than a sky scraper
and he's deeper than a submarine.
He's wider than the universe
and beyond my wildest dreams.

And he's known me and he's loved me
since before the world began.
How wonderful to be a part of God's amazing plan.

I went to the Genocide Museum in the morning. It wasn't a good feeling being there.

Then in the afternoon, I went to the slum area in Phnom Penh. We were doing first aid, giving out slippers and cutting nails for the kids. Many pictures were taken. Precious!

These 2 days were rather relaxing than usual. I guess everyone is tired physically. Good thing that we are staying in THE COMFORT STAR. haha.

This is the last night for this trip. Much had gained. My eyes opened, and I wish I can now see and feel even more.

Thanks Hannah and Mary! I think you girls has been really inspiring! I will miss all of what I had experienced, my team-mates and all the fun we had together.

Wait for my postcard ya? =)

I ate this! Fried spider!

this! Baby duck that's still in the egg. If you zoom in and see... that's the duckling head and I can see it's eye.

Read More 2 comments | by Phylli

I went painting at a primary school today. Children are really responsive. None of us can speak Khmer... but they still want to play with us. Received some love letters from the kids. =)

Before

After!

I am in Cambodia. Right when the plane was about to land, I saw a rainbow. I am supposed to wake up 6 in the morning tomorrow. Free internet. whee!

I want to cut my hair. Shorter.

Hmm.. what hairstyle shall I cut? Where?

liquid fills up my eyes and I AM trying to see clearly.

Be it a beautiful rainbow, be it plenty of shooting stars, be it a charming lightning.

What was the point of me waiting and hoping. I held it so dear to my heart for 2 years.

You know that I am hurting.

You care and I KNOW that.

BUT what is the point.

Maybe if my heart stops beating
It won't hurt this much
And never will I have to answer
Again to anyone

Please don't get me wrong

Because I'll never let this go
But I can't find the words to tell you
I don't want to be alone
But now I feel like I don't know you

One day you'll get sick of
saying that everything's alright
And by then I'm sure I'll be pretending
Just like I am tonight

Please don't get me wrong

Because I'll never let this go
But I can't find the words to tell you
I don't want to be alone
But now I feel like I don't know you

Let this go, let this go

But I'll never let this go
But I can't find the words to tell you
I don't want to be alone
But now I feel like I don't know you

And I'll never let this go
I can't find the words to tell you
That now I feel like I don't know you

Whee! Sit back and relax.

This is the first wedding photo shoot that I did. =)

Interesting things that happened in life. A series of events. Cool and not cool. But here... these are pretty cool.