I hate it when people take advantage of others. Such a pain...
Being 24. I think and rethink.
- I wasted some pieces of my life(just some) and have not wasted my life as it brings out who I am today.
- 24 years are not a big figure.
- I feel I am"not enough". Not enough in everything. Life experiences, places to go, people I meet, work that I do.
- I don't like being raw.
- I finally found something that I'd been searching.
- Finally knew how exciting it is to be used as a vessel. I am thrilled! Even with such a little effort. But somehow God makes it work!
- I need a life with purpose. Doing something PURPOSEFUL is more than anything to me.
- Lead my own life.
- Be real.
- Acceptance on myself being such random, sometimes peculiar.
- Cannot stand injustice.
- Loving people with good vibes.
- and people that have not so good vibes.
- Sing
- Sing for Him
- Laa dee daa
- Shooting is great. I need to get better. I will carry my Nikon around.
- Next
- I leap of faith. I need.
- To be held on His shoulder. I see things better!
- Learning to listen more.
- Step out. Get involved!
- Talk more.
- Grow! Grow stronger.
haha. 24. Guess that's it.
Sometimes it takes a lot to be able to look straight into a person's eyes. It could be just some people who just have the "energy" to make another person feel small. Hmm.. or it's just in my mind.
I have a friend who tell me that she has got no self confident. She thinks she has no value as a person. Not worth anything at all. From her, I saw so much of me in the past. Well, when I feel depressed or when I am down, I do think that I am not worthy and that sort of things. But I guess living in No.63, I learnt so much about how I am worthy in God's eyes. Knowing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made! and I am bought by the blood of Christ! Everyone. Every soul are! Telling my friend that... I mean, I fully understand how she felt.
I think about the Dalit kids every now and then. and I wonder sometimes, how would anyone ever give up on another person. Be it family, friends, kids... How would people look down on another, thinking that they are more superior, higher in status... Yes, you may have all the wealth in the world, wearing British India outfit, Salvatore Ferragamo leather shoes, Burberry scarf, wearing Tag Heuer watch, carrying a Mac Book Pro, maybe you're a CEO of some public listed company... driving a Mercedes SL 65 AMG... but those are the things that make you look better. Just because you have the access and money to higher education... doesn't put you as "the better" person. All these are not the things that make you who you are. The heart is the one matter most.
Everyone has their worth considering that we were created by the loving hands of God. Only He can fill your heart and when you know that truth. It just make your world a whole lot more nicer.
I tried to remember the last time I fall sick. I can't.
Not too bad. Being sick is not too bad at all.
Yeah, talk about India.
Had a presentation in CBC today. Hope people are ministered. Owh. Tougue tight... terrible feeling it was. Well, at least I get to say what I need to say. If possible, I wanna share with my church as well.
I am not sure about the rest of the world but of all my trips I would say life is fragile in India. In other words, it's easier to die in India. Every single moment if you are on the street, it will be freaking packed with people, vehicles and more vehicles! Cars(a lot of them are small cars), auto-rickshaw(go google if you don't know), bicycles, buses, trucks... owh and this was the first time ever I sat in a plane with so many Indians. Almost all of them.
Went to visit school in Pellakur where some of the Dalits kids are supported by Malaysians. These people, their parents only earns about 50-60 Indian Rupees which is equivalent to RM4 a day. We were interviewing them and one of the question was: What is your favourite food? They stop and think for a while then they answers are: rice water and salt!!! Then figured that they don't even have enough food how would they have favourite food?!! These kids would eat leftover rice with salt and water for breakfast and have their lunch (provided by the school) in school and that's all for a day. Lunch would be rice, dhall and one egg.
Kids who had studied in that school for 5 ,6 years can at least converse in english. See, education is the only way to give them better life, a life out of poverty and even cast out the caste system. Did I say cast out? well... *ahem* Say if they can get into college... Life would be different. They will be able to fight for themselves. Still many of them.. the younger ones, still are not able to understand English soo we talk and the teacher will translate. Funny enough sometimes, when I speak in english and they would reply me in their Telugu. haha.
Went to visit the kids' family in one of the Dalit's village. One boy from 6th class - I would name him Baboo. He lives in that village and he became our translater. Their houses are really small. Small as the size of a car parking lot. Cook, sleep, eat, all are done in the house. As we walk pass a house, a mother holding a baby came out to see. A little girl was following behind. Somehow she has skin colour like mine. So, Baboo asked:" Do you like her skin colour?" I answered:" I like yours" Then he asked again:"So do you think Jesus would like mine or hers?" I said:"BOTH". My heart torn apart when he asks this. I mean... This little boy was trying to understand the love of God.
There was so much joy as I ran with them in the village. Laughed with them as I was tring to say the word ''buffalo'' in Telugu. Prayed with them with our shawl covering our head. Took their photos as they tried to fit into my camera lens. THese kids, just like any other kids, they are eager to learn, playful, love to have fun, innocent and adorable. Nothing that is in them that make them any lesser than anybody. I feel this much for these people, how much more do you think God feel for them?
I've always do my self-searching thing. Learn to know my identity in Christ. I mean, if these kids found their identity in Christ, they will be able to live with dignity. When I tell them say Jesus loves you. I don't know whether they ever know what love is about. Jesus loves you? Only God will let them see. Really. [Dalits or better known as The Untouchables, according the caste system, as unclean and less than human. They have to bow and face down when they see people from the upper caste. There are a few caste all together but the Dalits, has no caste at all. They have no access to education, water, medical...]
Later on, on the day during the last trip to the school, we met an auto rickshaw accident. There were the school manager couple and their 2 kids(4 and 1 1/2) also the auto driver. We over took the bullock cart, and as there was a big truck coming on the opposite direction, we lost control and went all the way to the other side of the road and tipped over on the gravel. If we were slower, we could have been hit by the truck. If we were a little bit faster, we would went downwards and it would be very bad. yeh. so, we tipped over on the left side. So happened I was on the right side. I don't know how it happened but I was hanging on to the side, saw the baby face flat on the ground but I couldn't let go else I would fall on her. I manage to climb out as soon as I can. People in the bricks making factory came so quickly. They were moving the whole thing up... People fall out the auto and Pari almost but she couldn't coz the thing were going up. She got the baby and tried balance herself in the auto. Someone took the baby away from her. That moment, I realised the auto was accelerating. I panic like a prawn. Pulling the auto like mad shouting"stop!!! stop!!!" heh. So men came and pull the rickshaw with me as the driver went back up to stop it. It took quite a while. Owh boy. Thaaat was crazy. The mother was stunt sitting down on the side of the road. we got the baby and the boy. The baby girl has got dirt over her face small tiny scratch on her forehead. So then later on some people tried to hold the mother up aaaand... her arm went out of how a normal arm should be. OWH. After that.. we took another auto and went to clinic #1, no doctor. Clinic #2, doctor did pain killer, put papan on top and bottom of her arm, holding them with bandages and then ask her to go to town for operation. That town, 2 1/2 or 3 hours away? The mother broke her arm, baby with a small scratch on her head.. and the rest were perfectly fine.
That night, we took a overnight train to Hyderabad. The accident scenes kept coming back to me. I remembered asking Pari about the accident rate in India. Now that we joke about it saying our India experience is now complete. =) I knew God was with us that very moment. We were spared. Yay!
Thanks for those who made this happen. Really. Here are some of my favourite photos. Hope you would enjoy it =) Owh, by the way. I will have some of the India photos to be blown up. WoohoO!
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