Last Saturday, my brother and I bought a SLR camera in Sg. Wang. The salesman got me a very cheap price at 3200 for that camera (body and lens). When Ben reached his room, he compared his camera with his friends' and he realized that the lens is different than the others. It was a lousier lens! The next day I called that person and ask him about it. He answered me that he couldn't change the lens for me unless I add another 650 for that camera. I argued with him on the phone twice... I got angry and upset after that. Really upset. I felt like I kena cheated!

I was on Doulos at that time. It ruined my mood and excitement. I tried so hard not to cry. I sms Noel telling him that I am upset. I was then outside the ship and I saw him standing at the deck outside of the kitchen wearing an apron. Seeing him, I know I missed him so much. Tear starts flowing out of my eyes. I couldn't hide them but lucky I was wearing my red cap and it covers my eyes. He saw me... And he quickly asked a person beside him whether he could just take a break. He took off his apron and passed it to the other person and he ran down to me. I wanted so much for his shoulder but he wasn’t allowed to do that since it is the rule of the ship. He looked at me and asked me gently:" Why? Darling…". Well, it is enough for him to just standing there and just to be there for me. Sigh... I miss him so much.

Noel and I started officially on 26-2-06, one year plus already. It was not easy for us to be together. Instead, it's really hard. We'd been going through such obstacles... It's a long story that I will not be able to describe it here but because of that our relationship became even stronger. Noel has been a super blessing to me, a special gift from God. He became my guide, decision analyst, sandbag... someone that became one big part of my life. Precious. We went to the same Christian Fellowship and at that time, I didn't know much about him. I remembered during CyberChristmas year 2005, I saw him performing on the stage. He was playing guitar while the spot light were focusing on him. At that moment, I felt like: “wow... this guy is just so "yao yeng" and very talented". Months after that I went to a camp in Kuala Selangor and he too went. That is where we got to know each other more... and later then, the chemical started mixing up together and heating up as well. hehehe... *blush* oh dear.

Relationship is just so complex that it brings all kinds of feeling to you. God be the head of our relationship and there is commitment between us. If not, very the hard. It is still not easy and there are things that shake me sometimes... I wouldn't know what is going to happen in the future. I am not that stable and I know you are worried at some point. Me too. I can get distracted easily. Well, looks like i got loads to learn isn't it? Love... It's not about changing each other, but learning to accept each other. It is about opportunity cost too.

One year ago

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1. Anonymous on 3:54 AM

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