I seldom get sad and down because of the things happening around me. Always optimistic and cheerful, sometimes siao siao, that's me. Only bad relationship thingy makes me down and sad. DOWN!! really down. REALLY down. I can be mean to someone sometimes, but after a while, it will bring tons of guilt in me. Or, people being mean to me... erb.. sad sad.
I remembered when I used to have such relationship problems with my friend, which been dragging and haunting me for months. That makes me feel like dying. Asked God many questions. I asked God for answers, asked God for His forgiveness, asked God to cleanse me, asked God to take that all away, asked God to comfort me, asked God to hold me tight, asked God to give me good sleep at night, asked God to cheer me, asked God to give me a good day, asked God to not let us quarrel again, asked God to help me to run away from that, asked God to help me not think about it, asked God to mold me during that period, asked God to teach me, asked God to give me wisdom to face it, asked God to make me strong, asked God to teach me to follow His will, asked God to help me to take that as a blessing, asked God to help me to put all my faith in Him.... Papa, I'm so sorry that at times like that, I thank You because it's an obligation although some of them are truely from the heart. I told myself " don't worry, God has everything in hand. Phyllisia Ng Ling Lee, now you listen, you might not know what to do, but He is in charge! He knows what to do and He is always there for you. It will be fine! it will be OK!! "
Now, it's all over. I learnt to stick to Him no matter what happen and to put all my faith in Him. I know my Papa lead me through all that. He hold me tight in His arms and I know that He will never let me go. Papa, the pain still hurt a little sometimes, yes it is, but it reminds me of how You lead me through it, how much grace and love that You been given to me. Papa, thank You for Your big big shoulder and Your many many hugs! and many hugs from people who love me.
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