Singapore. My second time being here. Both times as a stop to the next destination and this time for a big day which is today. It makes me wonder how will I be when I get to that age. I guess other than getting older, you get to experience much more about life? Death, new born, weddings, pain and laughter... that kinda thing? You get to know how to make decisions correctly? Becoming less of a risk taker? They kept saying about looking back 10 years ago... 20 years ago... It does sounds really far away to me. Yeh, am about to go back to Malaysia tomorrow morning. India. India was really an amazing trip. I would say eventful. I lost my phone on the first day in Chennai. Met an auto rickshaw accident(the lorry was so close) So many what if... Worst case... we could have possibly die. The best thing was to see the kids. So many faces. I remember them. Hopefully I will still be able to remember their names. Because of the accident, we didn't manage to get to the school to say bye. Maybe I will come back again.You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
I'll have the photos up later. =)
So many things had been done /to be done prior to the trip. So much work loads, so many meetings, so many errands to run, so many things in my mind. But other than those, I know I am ready.
Was talking to a friend last night. Talked about the past, if we talk about lessons in life, I guess have learned it the hard way. Many crazy or rather stupid things that I've done. "You only young once" kinda thing. I have been doing things on my own way, taking care of myself... along the way so many mistakes... trial then error. heh. Things that I would rather keep for myself. Things that changed my perception about people and things that bring down my trust on people.
Yes, I might look like I have lots of confidence in me. But to be really honest, there are a lot of times that I am unsure about myself, thinking that I am so different from people that's around me. Being quite a weirdo among friends or even among family members which I don't quite look like or behave like. Always thinking it's so not cool being different from them. Feeling small being with some friends sometimes. How do I feel, how do I repond to things, react maybe... Sometimes feeling emo also, I don't really know why. I tried to be "normal". Normal in the sense of how I think others think as normal. Feeling sucky at times, thinking I am not worthy of living... and so on.
Well, I am on a journey of discovering myself. And accepting the past and myself of who I am. Because I am a human created by God. I know it will take a long while more till I know who I really am, what I really want, how I feel, why... and so on. At least an answer to myself.
It is a good feeling to be able to accept who you are. I am accepting the pieces of myself.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
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