Was talking to a friend last night. Talked about the past, if we talk about lessons in life, I guess have learned it the hard way. Many crazy or rather stupid things that I've done. "You only young once" kinda thing. I have been doing things on my own way, taking care of myself... along the way so many mistakes... trial then error. heh. Things that I would rather keep for myself. Things that changed my perception about people and things that bring down my trust on people.
Yes, I might look like I have lots of confidence in me. But to be really honest, there are a lot of times that I am unsure about myself, thinking that I am so different from people that's around me. Being quite a weirdo among friends or even among family members which I don't quite look like or behave like. Always thinking it's so not cool being different from them. Feeling small being with some friends sometimes. How do I feel, how do I repond to things, react maybe... Sometimes feeling emo also, I don't really know why. I tried to be "normal". Normal in the sense of how I think others think as normal. Feeling sucky at times, thinking I am not worthy of living... and so on.
Well, I am on a journey of discovering myself. And accepting the past and myself of who I am. Because I am a human created by God. I know it will take a long while more till I know who I really am, what I really want, how I feel, why... and so on. At least an answer to myself.
It is a good feeling to be able to accept who you are. I am accepting the pieces of myself.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
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