January 15, February 15... May 31, 6 months time has almost past. Where should I go? Along this few months that I started working with DCM, it has been so interesting. I learned so much that I couldn't had enough. I've met people that are such an inspiration to me. I see my strength and my weaknesses.
I try, I concentrate, I put my whole heart when I work, putting hopes and trying to be better. Still, I did a lot of mistakes. Some, over and over again. I aimed to finish tasks nicely in time. I aimed to be sharper, I aimed to be more detailed, I aimed to be more independent, I aimed to be more efficient... but sometimes I couldn't. Many times, I screwed up. I fell, swallow, deal with it then I stand up. It makes me upset when I make a mistake. I just hate to make mistake. Everybody make mistake I know, but I just feel awfully idiotic and I can just probably throw myself down from 49th floor and strangle myself along the few seconds before I hit the ground. I thought I can make it on my way to the bull's eye. I was being ambitious.
I am still ambitious and I will not give up. Question, how can I survive in this competitive surroundings? I have so much space for improvement. That upsets me. I need a stepping stone. I've got big dreams.
Next week, I need to face an interview. I'm not sure. I want to stay if I could. Now, I know I can't. I can if I am taken in through that interview... but things will be different then. It will not be the same kind of scope. I can't get what I want. God has been giving me such a nice path... all prepared and fitted in well on the right path. This time, I know He is still in charge. Do I have a choice? What kind of place should I choose? Decisions are all on me. Some might say I have not seen enough, I have not experience enough, I am just not mature enough. Yes, I don't deny the fact that I am raw, I don't deny my weaknesses, I don't deny that I am not good enough. I don't. I take advises because I respect and I appreciate. I do appreciate them.
I don't want end up doing a job being incompatible.
This is just a starting point... but I seriously don't know where is the starting point should start. Ahh...
I try, I concentrate, I put my whole heart when I work, putting hopes and trying to be better. Still, I did a lot of mistakes. Some, over and over again. I aimed to finish tasks nicely in time. I aimed to be sharper, I aimed to be more detailed, I aimed to be more independent, I aimed to be more efficient... but sometimes I couldn't. Many times, I screwed up. I fell, swallow, deal with it then I stand up. It makes me upset when I make a mistake. I just hate to make mistake. Everybody make mistake I know, but I just feel awfully idiotic and I can just probably throw myself down from 49th floor and strangle myself along the few seconds before I hit the ground. I thought I can make it on my way to the bull's eye. I was being ambitious.
I am still ambitious and I will not give up. Question, how can I survive in this competitive surroundings? I have so much space for improvement. That upsets me. I need a stepping stone. I've got big dreams.
Next week, I need to face an interview. I'm not sure. I want to stay if I could. Now, I know I can't. I can if I am taken in through that interview... but things will be different then. It will not be the same kind of scope. I can't get what I want. God has been giving me such a nice path... all prepared and fitted in well on the right path. This time, I know He is still in charge. Do I have a choice? What kind of place should I choose? Decisions are all on me. Some might say I have not seen enough, I have not experience enough, I am just not mature enough. Yes, I don't deny the fact that I am raw, I don't deny my weaknesses, I don't deny that I am not good enough. I don't. I take advises because I respect and I appreciate. I do appreciate them.
I don't want end up doing a job being incompatible.
Posts
